Everything changed.

by Schizophrenic Soul 5:25 PM 0 comments

I felt the need to talk about the past two years. Why? Because the person that I am today is definitely not the person I was back in high school. I was naive, too optimistic, too caring. I had always the idea that everyone mean what they say; I kinda lived in my own world: small circle of friends and family. But then, this boarding school happened. I was obliged to stay there due to a full time schedule. And GOD, I discovered a LOT of things: I met different kind of persons that I got to know cause we lived together, I heard some stories and I witnessed some events that got me like WHOA ; where was I this whole time? Is this really the world I'm living in? I mean, how can people be that evil? That stupid? That blind? 

From the girl who preaches  about religion all the time to that girl who keeps telling us about her adventures with her exes, I found a little bit of everything there. But one thing I learned for sure is that appearances can be misleading: you may think that this particular "smiling" girl is happy and leading a perfect happy life, but once you get to know what her life really looks like, you realize that you got the very wrong idea; that this girl is leading a life as miserable as yours. 
There is also this type of people: hypocrite pathetic kind of ones. The ones who hate you even if they don't know you. It's something that I can't really grasp: why the hell would you hate someone without knowing him? Why? ...Well, I kept telling myself that they are just not worth the jail time. 

When it comes to love, I never really liked someone for the past two years. There was this confusion tho' with this guy for a certain time, but it went away as quickly as it appeared. For the rest, it was just fun and games: physical attractions but never mental ones...

And then there is the best thing that happened to me: meeting those three precious persons who literally made EVERYTHING better; like EVERY FUCKING SINGLE THING, and God, I'll always be thankful for that. Especially meeting "my person" (a Grey's Anatomy thing): you know that friend who understands you perfectly without even having to speak, that soul-mate kind of friend. Yes, the "introverted schizophrenic weirdo suffering from social anxiety" me got to meet that once in a lifetime kind of people. (Can't help but tear-smile while writing this...) It's funny how I'm trying to transform all those mixed feelings into words, I'm not good at that; I actually suck when it comes to feelings and shit. 

I cleaned up my room back in the dorms today and I picked up all my stuffs that were left there, and it's what I felt today that got me to write this article. You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, cause you'll never be this way ever again.